American Idol, Night 1

In keeping with tradition around here (at least I've done it once, I think), I'll be live blogging the first night of American Idol tonight.  Twelve of the thirty-six finalists will be singing tonight.  So, without any further adieu...

Jackie Tohn

She sings "A Little Less Conversation."  Not bad vocals, but irritating dance moves and an even more irritating outfit (an extreme lack of modesty).  Randy, Kara, and Paula all seem to like it.  Simon, agreeing with me, is not impressed.

Ricky Braddy

I have no idea what this guy is singing.  I think he said it was something by Leon Russell.  Oh, now I recognize it.  I think it's called "My Song."  I've heard...what's his name sing it before.  Man, what is his name?  Michael Buble, that's it.  This guy isn't bad.  He's not Buble, but he's not bad.  Randy says it was "unbelievable."  Kara says that he "killed it" and that it was "amazing."  Paula wakes up long enough to say that he is very talented and deserves to go very far.  Simon thought it was very, very good, but also says that Ricky doesn't have any star quality or charisma (unlike all the British, who are full of charisma).

Alexis Grace

She's going to sing "Never Loved a Man" by Aretha Franklin.  Nice voice, but kind of a nondescript performance.  Maybe she should have borrowed Aretha's huge bow from the inauguration.  Paula is yelping like a seal.  Randy says that she "worked it out."  Kara loved it.  Paula uses a lot of cliches, no one really knows what she means, but seems to like it.  Simon says that she is the best contestant so far "by a mile" and ends with telling her that she may be a dark horse in this competition (comparing her to Kelly Clarkson).  I didn't think it was that great, but this just goes to show that I know very little about what to look for.  However, I can pick a mean song out of the blue and red hymnals.

Brent Keith

He's going to sing "Hick Town," a country song.  Not a bad voice, but doesn't seem to have much star quality to him.  I think he might be going back to the home improvement store soon.  Randy says, "Yo, yeah.  Yo..."  He likes Brent as a country guy.  Kara likes him, too, although she thinks that he was too "safe."  Thinks he could have showed more soul.  Paula definitely can see him as a country artist.  Simon says that he was "forgettable" and may have just blown his opportunity.

Stevie Wright

She's singing "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift.  Oh my...this is not starting well.  Well, at least she won't be missing much more school.  By the way, will anyone in 50 years remember one Taylor Swift song?  They all sound the same...and they're just not that good.  Uh oh...here come the comments.  Randy uses "yo" about 4 times in the first 10 seconds.  He didn't like it.  Kara agrees and says that Stevie has an "identity crisis."  Paula thought that it was the wrong song for her.  Simon says that it was "terrible" (everyone boos) and that she was "out of tune."  He says that there is "zero chance" of her getting through to the next round.

Anoop Desai

From everything I've seen of this guy so far, he's very, very good...perhaps a dark horse to win it all.  We'll have to see how he does now.  He's going to sing "Angel of Mine" by Monica.  Monica who?  Monica Seles?  I've heard this song somewhere before.  Well, I think I take back my "dark horse to win it all" comment.  See, this is why I'm not a judge on this show.  Well, that and a hundred other reasons.  Although I could certainly pitch Coca-Cola products while sitting at the judges table.  Paula puts the pill bottle down and stands up.  Randy says that it was an "interesting song choice" and that it was a little "sharp."  Kara agrees with Randy (what does she add to this show, by the way).  Paula says that the great thing with him is that America has already "connected" with him.  Simon asks him why he chose this song.  He thinks the song was too "grown up" for Anoop and that it was too serious.  Simon says he has massive "likeability."

Casey Carlson

She works at a bubble tea shop (for those of you interested).  She's going to sing "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic" (changing all the "she's" to "he's").  Oh, please stop.  Hope she didn't quit her bubble tea job.  Randy says, "Wow...yo ho ho."  Says that it was not good for him and "weirdly karaoke".  Kara says that nobody should go near Police songs and that her dancing was not good.  Paula praises her for her looks, but then adds that her phrasing was weird.  Simon asks Casey how she thinks it went.  She says she had fun.  Simon says that the singing was "atrocious" and that she couldn't have chosen a worse song.

Michael Sarver

I like this guy...seems like a genuinely good fella.  I tend to root for married men with families.  He's going to sing "I Don't Want to Be" by Gavin McGraw (wasn't he in the Love Boat?).  Oh yeah, I like this song.  Bo Bice sang this song in season 4.  I have this song on my iPhone.  He's not bad, but Bo was way, way, way better.  I would say it was the 3rd best performance of the night so far.  Randy says that he can definitely sing, but that it started out a little rough.  Randy likes him better as a "soul" guy (I do, too).  Kara agrees with Randy for the 75th time tonight, once again proving that she has absolutely nothing to add to this.  Paula thought he did a real good job (everyone applauds her great insight).  Didn't like him switching hands so often.  Simon says that he's a good, honest guy.  Hopes that America gives him another shot.

Ann Marie Boskovich

I think if she wins, she's going to have to change her name.  Boskovich just won't cut it.  She's going to be singing "Natural Woman" by Boy George.  Probably not as good as Alexis Grace, but still pretty good.  Something tells me that she'll be getting a good percentage of the teenage boy vote.  Oh, there's Ted Danson, propped up in the audience.  Randy says that it was just not the right song.  Shockingly, amazingly, stunningly, Kara agrees with Randy.  Says that the song is too old-fashioned for her.  Paula thinks she's improved.  Simon says that she would be good if they were looking for "the best hotel singer in California."

Stephen Fowler

He'll be singing "Rock With You" by Michael Jackson.  I don't care for this kind of stuff.  Doesn't mean he's a bad singer, it's just not my cup of tea...or should I say, my cup of bubble tea.  This guy seems like a cool guy, a fun guy to hang out with (0r have a glass of bubble tea with)...but his singing doesn't do much for me.  I would think that it's hard to sing Michael Jackson stuff.  Randy says, "Alright, so, uh, yo, man..."  Bad song choice according to Randy.  Guess what?  Kara agrees with Randy.  Paula says that it would have been better if...  Oh, forget it, I have no idea what Paula is trying to get at.  Simon says that it was a pointless performance and that the whole thing was "atrocious," "a huge mistake," and "corny."

Tatiana Del Toro

Oh no...not her!!!!  As we watched the last couple of weeks, my one great wish is that she wouldn't make the final 36.  Well, she made it.  I honestly don't know how much longer I can watch her.  I really can't describe it, but if you've seen her at all, you know what I'm talking about.  Oh no, she's crying.  She's singing "I'm Saving All of My Love for You" by Mrs. Bobby Brown.  Here we go...  For all of her histrionics, she does have a pretty good voice.  To show how much I love Mexican food, just looking at her last name is making me crave Del Taco.  Randy says that she had some moments where it was quite good, although she didn't pull it all together.  Kara says it's like a roller coaster ride with Tatiana (you mean the part where your stomach churns and you want to vomit?).  Paula says that she's probably the most talked-about contestant on the show so far.  Paula says that she had some beautiful moments as well as some pitchy moments.  Simon says that she's a "complete and utter drama queen."  Amen, brother.  Simon says that the singing wasn't bad at all and better than he expected.

Danny Gokey

This is the guy I'm rooting for.  He probably won't win, but I'm rooting for him.  His wife passed away recently and he seems like a genuinely good guy.  He's going to sing "Hero" by Mariah Carey.  Isn't Mariah Carey hard to sing?  Oh, he's a church music director.  Hmmm...I like him as a blues kind of guy, but I don't know about this.  I really like this guy's voice (which probably means  he'll be voted off soon).  Mem and I agree that he sounds like Bob Carlisle.  Hopefully, he never breaks out "Butterfly Kisses."  Paula's yelping hysterically.  Kara's shouting "Yes, yes, yes."  Randy says that it was "blazing hot."  Kara says that he was the "hero" tonight.  Paula tries to put a complete sentence together.  Simon says "back to the real world."  He likes it, but doesn't think it was fantastic.  Says that Danny's a very, very good singer.

That's it for tonight.  The results show will be tomorrow night.

TOP FEMALE TONIGHT:  Alexis Grace

TOP MALE TONIGHT:  Danny Gokey